Social-media addiction and self-harm: why teenage girls are in crisis

Raising girls has never been simple, says the historian Amanda Foreman. But now, more than ever, they need strong maternal support

The Foreman five: Amanda with her daughters (from left), Hero, 10, Halcyon, 12, Helena, 15, and Xanthe, 10ABBIE TRAYLER-SMITH FOR THE SUNDAY TIMES MAGAZINE

The Sunday Times, November 19 2017, 12:01am

The most talented woman I have encountered suffered from such low self-esteem that she couldn’t bear to look at herself in the mirror. Still, she always presented a glamorous facade to the world, successfully hiding the fact that she had been bulimic since adolescence. That wasn’t her only addiction, however. Over the years she also used sex, drugs, alcohol and even gambling to numb her feelings. It didn’t work, or perhaps it worked too well, since she died in her forties. A body can only take so much abuse before it packs up.

Her name was Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire; she was the subject of my first book. Subsequently, a film was made about her, starring Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes. The film makers focused on her tangled love life rather than her troubled childhood. I guess a story about a mixed-up girl whose emotional struggles become a lifelong burden is all too familiar.

Georgiana died in 1806, yet her story has always felt modern to me. Her tortured relationship with food and struggles with addiction are problems that affect millions of young girls and women today. In recent British studies, between 20% and 24% of teenage girls admit to being unhappy, with issues surrounding weight and body image often cited. In one sense, it’s a relief to know that we didn’t invent a new set of dysfunctions for the 21st century. Equally, however, it’s depressing to realise that as mothers we seem to be no better at bringing up our daughters than our forebears.

When I had children of my own, I swore that I would never be like Lady Spencer, Georgiana’s mother, who wilfully ignored every warning sign of her child’s unhappiness. Her love had been the kind that damages its recipient. I, on the other hand, was going to be a positive role model, providing abundant wisdom and support. It came as a shock to discover that babies are more interested in burping and slurping than discussions on the meaning of life.

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